Many years ago, almost ten years before I was activated for ascension, I experienced a deep spiritual awakening during a month-long solo trip to France--a trip that was divinely guided in every sense of the word. I didn't realize it was a spiritual awakening at the time, but after meeting with a village Reiki practitioner to help heal some of the anxiety and homesickness I was feeling and experiencing his mediumship, I came home changed and wanting to continue this internal growth. I attended a spiritual development course a few months later, given by a local psychic medium who had since become a mentor and friend. I had a deep inner yearning to better understand and open up to my own spirituality in new ways. As connected as I've always felt to God and spirituality, I had previously, unconsciously, shut that part of myself down.
It was during this spiritual development course that I experienced my first guided meditation. We were meant to experience a short past-life regression, but instead I found myself in the gentle, embracing presence of the beloved. It cracked me open. I burst into tears right there in the workshop, my heart filled with the spirit of God and more love than I’ve ever known as I experienced this sacred vision. I didn’t understand it—at least, not on a conscious level. A few years later, during another guided meditation, I was brought back to that same vision, as if it was continuing from where we left off in a quiet reminder of the healing strength of love and the power of the Divine.
When I was finally diagnosed after a long, unexplained illness in 2012 and began the years-long journey to wellness, my relationship with God was fractured. It was the longest night of my Dark Night of the Soul. I still felt connected to the Universe as a whole, and I still held the memory of that initial meditative vision, but my personal relationship to God felt severed. I was in so much pain both physically and emotionally, I felt I had been forsaken. I journaled every day, accessing the deepest recesses of my soul in prayer and writing my way, little by little, back to faith. Little by little, I was surrendering, healing, and allowing my guarded heart to open again.
When I was activated to ascension in late 2017, it was like a whole new journey opened up to me. This was next-level—expanding my consciousness and understanding of the Universe and my own sacred being in ways I never could have foreseen and, truth be told, I didn’t necessarily want at the time. It was painful, as I was triggered into healing my deepest traumas and pain-- bringing to light my darkest shadows and challenging my ego to shift deep-seated beliefs and programming. I integrated parts of myself I thought had been long-forgotten, called back lifetimes of fragmented aspects of my soul, and experienced an opening of the heart and more love and connection to God, the Universe, and all its beautiful, unique threads of life than I could have ever imagined.
Four years ago on Easter, as I was driving in the early morning hours, I had a vivid vision of a past life experience bearing witness to the crucifixion. While I had been experiencing an opening and heightening of my spiritual gifts, this was my first (knowingly-conscious) vision since experiencing that guided meditation, and it took me completely by surprise. Up until this point, I didn’t have a personal connection to Jesus/Yeshua. When I renounced my Catholic upbringing as a teenager, I also somewhat turned my back on this ascended master—his story and his teachings felt so corrupted, so falsified from what my soul was telling me about who he was and why he truly came here. I couldn’t understand why he was exalted as savior seemingly separate from God, even as there were those proclaiming he was the Son of God and part of God, rather than a highly-conscious and ascended man showing us the essence of God within ourselves. The teachings of the church and its followers felt suppressive, divisive, and limiting. It was like my very soul, even at that young age, was rejecting doctrine in search for higher meaning, and because of that, I rejected him.
I wouldn’t understand that until my own ascension journey began, until I met Yeshua in this early-morning vision and I burst into tears at his forgiveness from my own self-abandonment. Throughout these years, I’ve had more visions, more understanding, and more clarity around who he was, who he is, and how he has always shown us the way to our own ascension into a new consciousness or way of being. As my connection to him was resurrected, I connected to more ascended masters and grew even closer within my connection to God, healing the illusion of separation in a clarion call to unity and love.
It’s been a long path to return home to God and to myself. While it’s summarized here, there are so many details, so many experiences that helped transform me and bring me here, and as I look ahead, I know there’s still so much more to learn and experience yet. When I look back at my life, however, I can see how it has all played a part in leading me to this point, where I am now—like stepping stones among sometimes rough and invisible terrain. It seems so mystical—even crazy if I hadn’t experienced it firsthand for myself. But that’s what magic is. That’s what faith is. That’s what God is.
It’s truth of the soul beyond what the limited mind perceives as real. It’s redemption and salvation found within the God Source aspect of ourselves. It’s a rebirth of consciousness and renewal of the spirit.
It’s a resurrection of the sacred within us all.